Her mother would whisper into her ear, “You’re smart. Exceptionally smart.”
She’d whisper these words into the child’s ears so frequently that Ruby started to believe her mom. Her grades improved, and her belief in herself blossomed, too.
At age 23, when others told Ruby that she wasn’t an entrepreneur and lacked experience, and she didn’t have the funds to open a daycare center, she chose to dismiss their opinions. Her mother’s words bubbled up inside, and she told herself, “I can do it. I’ll just have to find a way.”
When she had a choice of signing a lease for an apartment or renting a storefront where she could provide daycare services and jobs to the community, she chose the daycare, deciding to forgo the apartment. “It was just an inconvenience. Delayed gratification. There’s a price to be paid for success,” she said.
Until her finances improved, she slept on a child’s cot in her daycare center. She also worked at the Chicago post office. She used her paycheck to help pay the rent for the commercial space, to buy toys, child-sized tables and chairs, crayons, and coloring books, and to continue to invest in her entrepreneurial dreams.
Once at a holiday gathering, one family member pointed in her direction, laughed, and offered her a warning to save her the trouble and the gas. “People like you don’t live in the northern suburbs or in Lincoln Park. Why would you waste your time visiting those places on the weekends?”
She just smiled and answered with silence as she had often done to other naysayers. “My dreams belonged to me,” she once explained. The venomous words of others couldn’t deter her. She continued her frequent drives along Lake Shore Drive and explored dozens of upscale areas and upper-class neighborhoods.
Her courage, curiosity, business skills, and belief in herself continued to grow, and so did her finances. Eventually, the funds became available, and she moved into a thriving community.
A few months after leasing an apartment, a well-dressed lady, whom she had routinely seen in the elevator, studied her before speaking. “Do you have any more room in your schedule?” she asked. “I need someone to clean my place.”
Ruby merely smiled and answered, “No ma’am,” dismissing the disparaging question. She continued to build her future and life.
Through the years, she faced adversities, setbacks, time constraints, and cruel remarks that were mostly unintentional. Decades later, after organizing and attending her mother’s home-going services, she still found solace in her words: “You’re smart. Exceptionally smart.”
The young woman discovered other attributes she possessed as well. Ruby was a good decision maker, a problem solver, and a diligent worker.
Eventually, her revenues allowed her to relinquish her lease and build a mansion with maid quarters in Lake Forrest, an affluent north suburban neighborhood in Illinois. But after several years, she decided to sell her dream house in her dream neighborhood to answer the call of adventure.
She traveled to Egypt, Japan, Germany, Belgium, England, Spain, Saudi Arabia, India, Switzerland, and Africa before finally deciding to spend one year in Paris, France, where she immersed herself in the language and the culture.
She also authored a book, My Unusual Journey to Success, and directed, produced, and wrote a full-length movie, “Love Your Mama.” She also earned a Master’s degree in counseling.
Her mother’s gift of words, “You’re smart. Exceptionally smart,” often resurfaced in times of reflection and challenges. These words transformed into a foundation, following her through life, encouraging her to reach far, to achieve more, and to embrace her own gifts and success. They would also become a baton and a launching board that Ruby would offer to future generations to build on and to break through family glass ceilings.
Give the gift of encouraging words to your children and to yourself. Here are some examples to fuel the encouragement engine:
- I am so proud of you.
- You bring so much joy into our lives.
- You’re just so cool to be around.
- You’re a gift to our family and the world.
- You’re fearfully and wonderfully made.
- Your future is bright.
- You’re adventuresome.
- You’re clever and kind.
- You’re intelligent.
- You know how to focus.
- You’re awesome.
- You’re diligent.
- You’re the best.
- You’re capable, brave, and wise.
- You’re a great problem solver.
- I’m glad you’re my child
- You’re so creative.
- I love you more than you could possibly imagine.
Wishing you happy holidays and a prosperous new year!
