By Lucille U. Freeman
When you help your child experience the joy of a task well-done and make success a common part of your child’s life, you help prepare them for a confident future. The list can go on and on, but here are 20 ways to enhance your child’s self-esteem.
- Asking their opinion:
1. Listen to your child. Show him or her that their ideas are valuable.
2. Give him or her the power to make decisions. Ask your child about decorating their room, or the places they’d like to visit on vacation, and when you can, incorporate their ideas into the family plans. This will show them their wishes and ideas are valuable.
3. Ask your child what they’d like to have for dinner, then make it. After all, their opinions_ likes and dislikes_ count.
- Encourage Them:
4. Give your child ample doses of praise. Praise your child continually…”Thanks for your help. You were thoughtful… That was a good idea… You did a good job cleaning your room… You have a great smile… I’m glad you remembered to get your clothes up before you left for school. Thanks… An A in math! You must have really worked hard…! You are so patient and kind to your grandparents….” And the list can go on and on.
5. Make your child a victory wall. Put photos of your child playing baseball, at a piano recital, opening their Christmas presents, or any certificates, on this wall.
6. Buy them a journal. Help them make a list of all the good things about themself.
7. Write your child a “ What I like about you” list, then frame and post it.
8. Teach your child mannerisms that denote self-esteem: such as eye-contact, a firm handshake, or how to confidently enter a room when all eyes are on you.
9. Not their birthday? That’s perfectly okay. Give your child an I-just-thought-about-you-gift.
- Acknowledge Their Gifts:
10. Pay attention to your child’s natural talents and gifts. Discover what areas they’re strong in. Help your child discover their gifts and talents. Do they show a special interest and ability in art, music, math or sports? Put music lessons into your budget, find a sports team they can join, or enroll them in a local math enrichment class for children.
11. Post a list of your child’s successes.
12. Collect all the photos of your child and paraphernalia you’ve been meaning to put in a keepsake book. One rainy Saturday, spend time helping your child organizing his book.
- Guide Them
13. Avoid derogatory phrases such as, “You always,” “You never,” “Silly,” “Stupid,” “Dumb,” and other words and phrases with negative connotations.
14. Allow your child room to make mistakes: spill a soda, break a glass, or drop his hamburger, without panicking or loosing your cool. Help them clean up and remind them that we all sometimes have accidents.
15. Be a role model of self-esteem and self-care for your child. Take time away to refuel. Refuse to label your own mistakes with “Stupid,” “There I go again,” “Won’t I ever learn,” etc.
16. Point out other role models around you, who demonstrate a good sense of themselves and the world and who exude confidence.
17. Help your child develop values, including, diligence, truthfulness, perseverance, timeliness and compassion. For example, to help them develop an appreciation for diligence, give them weekly household chores and expect and encourage them to complete them.
18. Well-groomed children are more likely to act confident. Stress good hygiene habits and dress your child in clean, comfortable, and affordable clothes. When we feel good, we look good and we often act more confident.
19. Encourage your child to start a collection of baseball cards, stamps, coins, comic books, etc., and help him or her expand their collection.
- Encourage Persistance
20. Even when your child is struggling in an area, explain that no one is good at everything. Help them tackle the problem if it is something they must conquer, such as spelling or history… but continually point out their strengths, talents, and strong qualities. Even functioning in an arena which they is not especially gifted in, can give them skills in other areas, such as perseverance and commitment, which will be beneficial to them later.