If I had to live my life over again, I’d dare to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would take more trips. I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
-Nadine Stair, 85 years old

Recently I was a guest at the Village of Oak Lawn Public Library Local Author Showcase. What a great group of authors, neighbors, and a community that reads!

As a child and even now as an adult, I am learning to show up. As Brené Brown says, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen.”

As a youth I was told, “Don’t toot your own horn” and “children are to be seen and not heard.” How many children are given a steady diet of the importance of blending in and being encouraged to take a back seat, to choose invisibility, and to avoid drawing attention to themselves? When a child has the propensity to be shy, it can be easy for them to choose to stay in the background. Right?

I was a shy kid. From first grade until eighth grade, I was in speech classes because I had a speech impediment. I had to painstakingly learn to pronounce even the simplest of words: chair, girl, six, slip, etc. Holding a one-on-one conversation was a daunting task for me, thus I never even considered embracing the platform and adamantly dismissed the thought of public speaking. Pencil and paper became my means of self-expression. However, a point arises that we can no longer allow ourselves to be imprisoned in cages of shyness, self-doubt, and fears of public speaking, being seen, and performance anxiety.

Motivational speaker Les Brown tells stories about his first attempts at public speaking when he was a child, saying he failed miserably again and again. Yet, he has become known as a masterful speaker and motivator and has become a world renown presenter.

James Earl Jones is an actor who had such a severe stutter as a child and was so embarrassed about his speech impediment that he ceased speaking altogether for some time in high school. Today, he has been said to have one of the best and most distinguished voices in Hollywood, and he has gained fame for the voice of Darth Vader in Star Wars and Mufasa in The Lion King.

A slew of iconic figures wrestled with shyness, speech impediments, and stage fright to pursue their life goals and careers including award-winning actress Nicole Kidman, comedian, television, and radio personality Steve Harvey, actor Bruce Willis, actress Julia Roberts known for starring in Pretty Woman, and actor Samuel Jackson, known for his roles in movies including Goodfellas, Jungle Fever, and Patriot Games.

Rod Stewart, Mel Gibson, Barbara Streisand, minister, author, and entrepreneur Bishop T.D. Jakes, and author, motivator, and entrepreneur Lisa Nichols have all dealt with varying levels of stage fright or visibility issues. Yet they continue to perform.

Taking the stage can be daunting. Experts say that glossophobia (the fear of public speaking) is greater than the fear of death. Experts say seventy-five percent of the general population loathes public speaking. But, like driving, it is a worth-while life skill to be mastered, according to billionaire Warren Buffet.

Even if you have to battle stage fright, it is still important to meet the fear with courage and continue practicing in building needed public speaking and performance skills. Being uncomfortable with the stage cannot become an excuse to separate you or your children from their passions, businesses, career pursuits, or their next season of growth.

Monsters will appear as you venture into the forest of visibility, and sometimes you will have to wrestle with imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and feelings of inadequacy. Feeling like a fake or a feeling like a charlatan can manifest themselves when you are asked to speak, to perform, or to take the stage and the spotlight. When you decide to reach far, play big, and dream without walls, sometimes the king of all monsters – the monster of criticism – will rise out of the lagoon. It’s just something that happens.

Myrna Gutierrez once described herself as a shy child, and she recalls times she would hide behind her mother’s skirt. But she has blossomed into a skillful presenter and now labels herself as an extrovert. She has been a spokesperson for organizations including World Vision, 7-Up, and NASA and has been invited to give many keynote speeches before large audiences. “The trick,” she says, “is to remember that purpose is greater than self-focus.”

Be courageous. Don’t allow yourself the luxury of backing down from situations that might make you uncomfortable. Without allowing yourself to enter the zone of being uncomfortable, you cannot grow.

Remember that life is all about taking risks. You have to risk being visible, and when you’re on stage and The Eyes of the People are watching you, you just have to look back and continue to deliver your message.

Perhaps as Steven Benedict, an athlete and speaker who has gone from obscurity to notoriety, once said, “My time to be seen has come.”

Has your time for being seen arrived too?

Lucille Usher Freeman is the author of The Eyes of the People, a book that addresses a child’s battle with fear and public speaking.